Peaks and Pits

make a 2011 year recap post…

January 2011:

I was at the core of my marathon training. Lots of running and lots of cold weather for Syracuse, NY. 

I ran 20 miles on a treadmill because of the record breaking cold weather we had. 

February 2011:

Let’s be honest this month was awesome. I RAN MY FIRST MARATHON. 

MARCH 2011: MY FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR! Because it’s my birthday month!

I didn’t do much… I had a lot of emotional issues this month, I was battling with some pretty heavy eating issues and body issues… BUT I personally enjoyed this post on my birthday where I showed off my dance skillzzzz

April 2011: Let’s see… I rejoined my college soccer team after quitting in Feb and joining the xc team…. I ran a good amount… ate pretty bad….drank like a fish… 

May 2011:

I finished my junior year of college, joined strength in motion (its like crossfit but not as intense), started my internship annnnnnnnnnd my mom told me she tried to run!!

June 2011: *** THE MONTH THAT CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE (thus far…)

I almost died this is not an exaggeration. I fractured my skull and had slight brain bruise. I, almost 7 months later… am still extremely effect by this. My health has improved slightly, but I still have daily head aches and after last friday’s hit on the head again I am nauseous at all times. Imagine living your life with a head ache and feeling car sick. That’s my life right now. Let’s just say June was the start of my life feeling like a p.o.s.

July 2011: Let’s be honest. Besides trying to heal I didn’t do much. A lot of thinking, a lot of working out when I shouldn’t of and lots of wedding stuff. I didn’t post much and I was starting to become really sad. 

August 2011: Again- not much…. start of my senior year... running here and there… head aches every day, doctors appointments weekly…interning…. 

September 2011: I’m sick of writing a recap… stuff that happened

October: 2011: Can you see the pattern of my unhappiness this year??

November 2011: 

I stood up for women. 

December 2011:

I got rid of facebook — and I’m still so happy with that decision. 

I (for health reasons) switched the marathon to a half

I got hit in the head again and it’s all happening again.  

I think, after making this post, I can honestly say I’ve become depressed since the accident. Posts like THIS are too frequent. 

Could this BE any truer? 

So while making this recap… I came to realize. I’m really unhappy right now. But guess what- I’m the only one who can change that. A lot of crappy things have haven’t but I can’t let that define me. I have to do what I can control and what I can do and what is best FOR ME. I don’t give a rats ass about what others think anymore- I’m going to empower myself and do what I want and not do anything for others approval. 

I got Crazy, Sexy, Diet by Kris Carr for a christmas gift to myself and I started reading it tonight. I may not have cancer, but I think this accident has definitely change the way I view life and I need to, as they say, wake up and not waste another second of my life!! 

So here we go… my mom bought me a guardian angel pin, my dad bought me a prayer book bracelet… I’m ready to go. 

There’s a funny thing about weight…. Right when everything else is sucking it continues to suck everything up more. Officially at an unacceptable weight.

No mother effing excuse I am to blame.
Starting weight: 168.8 

**this is a starting weight not a highest weight, for new followers I HAD lost 67lbs but as noted by the above weigh in I’ve gained much back.

This is a start not a continue. I will have goals from here not “I used to’s”.

Update on the head: no change, spoke w my dr yesterday he’s off this week and will try and squeeze me in next week. I haven’t ran since Monday (only 2 miles before it was too much). Taking another day and praying I feel better. Tomorrow despite the head I’ll try to get in 6 miles.

There’s a lot going wrong for me but I need to have faith that if I do what I can control I will start to see things shape up.

The other day I went over to my grandma’s house and she pulled out some stuff of my grandfather’s that she found. He was in the army ( he hated every second of it- he lost his eye as a kid and the dr who was signing people up for the army thought he was a trouble maker so cleared him to go even though he only had one eye!!!) Anyway, we found tons of money from when he was in the army and pictures, his stripes, a watch and lots of other things. 

How cool is that!!

There’s the stud!!! Second row from the bottom on the left!!

Aw man I miss this guy :( wish he could come to florida with us 

SO CLOSE!!!!! I ONLY NEED 140$!!!!!!

3 days left!!!!

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/caitlintitus

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/caitlintitus

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/caitlintitus

This post might as well be dedicated to my NaBROleon BROnaparte, Kyle, because I just noticed as I uploaded these picture they all have to do with him… 

Santa BRO Clause gave me a gift…. TRUE BLOOD SEASON 3 SUCKAS!!

I guess this doesn’t have to do with Kyle except that he’s a piece of crap and this melted fudge looks like a piece of poop. 

Wittle Kylie drank and ate a lil too much… 

Snipped. 

Remember when I said I wanted kyle to look like the model on the poster at the store? Well I bought him the exact outfit as the model… 

I’d say I dressed him well. Now go find a nice girl!!!! (ps. he’s got the hand in the pocket wine glass in his hand so he cal look “classy” and like the model…)

Other holiday updates.

Felt like crap again, all day. And yesterday. Called my Dr again today and left a message. Pooooooop but what am I gunna do. Another low key exercise day, then re-evaluate what I’m going to do tomorrow.

Side note-

I start a winter online class tomorrow (ON THE BEATLES!!!!) and I already am excited. I just did the listenings and discussion board ish and I really like it so far. It’s def going to be a lot of work, he said at least 4 hours a day because it’s a 15 week class jammed into 5 weeks. Yikes. Plus since I’ll be in Florida for 2 units I want to try and get those done before I go and then just take the tests when I’m there. We’ll see.

I don’t know if it’s the accident that has changed me…or if it’s the fact that I keep getting crapped on or what. But my view of marathons, triathlons, etc. have changed completely. 

I have no desire to run a race. I have no desire to work towards something like that and put myself through more pain and anxiety right now. 

Since Friday’s little noggin knocking I have had been so freakin shitty. My headahe hasn’t left since, my stomach is in knots like before or quezzy (spelling?) and I am dizzy. 

I tried to run today… 2 miles in and I almost threw up on the treadmill, so I got off and thought I’d go on the elliptical…I again got so dizzy I stopped and sat in the locker room for a little bit then walked the track with my mom for 45 minutes. 

All in all. 

I don’t want to train or race or anything. Until I’m beyond healthy. I hate going into something not knowing if I’ll be able to finish. I hate that I can’t just get up and run. 

I see so many people on tumblr writing about their training and their runs and whatever- I read this crap and just feel sorry for myself, just question why the fudge I can’t just go for a run without feeling like this. 

It had got back to a point where I was feeling better, then the longer training runs made me sick again… so I cut that down…then I started feeling good again…then Friday happened…. 

I just don’t understand why I keep getting shit on. Maybe it’s that attitude which just keeps making me vulnerable for crap. But in all honesty- I want no responsibility. I want to just focus on my eating and exercise a normal amount- not worrying if my cardio has decreased. I hate that I can’t run right now and all I’m worried about is if I can still run the half. 

I hate this. UGHGHGHDSfiuHSPIUDRYG&*WHRPIUSDFIU

This isn’t meant for a “feel sorry for me post” this is how I feel. And I can’t express this to my family right now, so I’m writing it here. 

I just am sorta feeling like “WHY” and “how come me” I know that sounds so selfish because other people have way other things worst going on in their life. But this has gone on for 6 months now. I’m freaking over it. 

** I will write a post in a little bit about the fun I had on christmas, because besides feeling like this I did have  a lovely time with my family. But right now, this is my mind.

There’s one recurring theme of my life….it’s extremely unpredictable. 

Last night I went to a “Fancy Party” at my friends house. Being “fancy” I was required to dress in real girl clothes and put on a happy face. 

I had not put on the happy face yet….

Sorta happy face??? BIGGER THE HOOP BIGGER THE HOE THOUGH! Good thing they aren’t closed hoops..there for no hoe here…

So here’s the unpredictable part. 

I was having a great time (no head ache!) and then one of the big burly men picked me up and was dancing up on me and somehow I hit my head… Yeah… Immediately it started hurting and I was in a funk the rest of the night. 

I came home, feel asleep and woke up this morning with an awful headache and extremely dizzy. I laid down and slept for another hour or so in the comfy chair and then decided to try and go work out (elliptical only considering I can’t run when my head hurts this bad). So I ellipticalled and that seemed to be fine (I started hunger games- so far I’m a fan). My head still hurt but the dizziness seemed to have stopped. 

Then I got home.. and I tried to eat- no appetite. Then as I was eating a siab I got really nauseous again and really warm, then my mom told me my eyes were purple around them…black eyes… black eyes, more headache…nasusea…. aka… my little knock on the noggin last night has given me more concussion symptoms again. Aka a slight concussion occured last night. 

Unpredictable.

Currently laying in my bed watching You’ve Got Mail, I’m going to nap because that’s what all my dr’s tell me to do to “heal” my brain. 

I don’t understand why things happen…but whatevah. 

Things to entertain you: 

I absolutely love what this woman did on her birthday!!

http://mixmingleglow.com/blog/?p=1358#comment-246015

Fun white christmas santa dance thing:

http://homepage.mac.com/doug_arrington/home/white_christmas.swf

Be inspired: 

http://www.thefitbee.com/2011/12/my-journey-losing-over-100-pounds-video.html

All I have to say us girl with the dragon tattoo. WOW. I want to go see it again. Right meow.

I feel absolutely exhausted. Even though I’m on Winter Break I feel like all I’ve done is run around non stop. I worked all week, had doctors appointments Tuesday, and been running and working out mucho amounts. 

However, the plus side of working for a great company- Getting wine for Christmas!!

Too bad I don’t drink…. Regifting anyone???

Today I had an excellent run. It was the first time while running since well I don’t know when, but it was the first time I was like this is FUN again and this doesn’t HURT and I am not stressing out. 

So 6 miles in 47 minutes. I like you- you look good. You were excellent today.

Now now…let’s discuss how awesome my background on my phone is….

I am SO in the spirit. 

——-

Food noms:

Breakfast, 1 bagel thin (1pt) egg scrambled (2pts) banana (1pt)

Snack: Apple

Lunch: Bun (wegmans 1pt) turkey (1pt) HOT SAUCE, laughing cow cheese (1pt)

Pre work out snack: Luna bar (3pts) 

Post work out snack: 2 cuties (1pt), bowl of mixed veggies

Dinner: Chicken 4oz (4pt), tomatoes, green peppers, onion, 2 slices of italian break (cut really thin- weighed out and all) 3pts

Snack: Pineapple 

Exercise Taunts:

6 mile run, 47 minutes, walk 1 mile after on 7 incline for 15minutes

Push ups- til i die

….

annnnd now I’m watching Foodmatters…. MIND EQUALS BLOWN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSJCSR4MuhU

My best frannnd britty has two favorite cookies. 

chocolate chip

and 

oreos

So when I came across THIS recipe how could I not make it for her for Chanukah????

Too bad I made it wrong and made them double the size they were suppose to be… It said makes 2 dozen…. It made 18…. and I mean I think I ate 2 cookies of batter…. but still… They are massive like hand size. This picture doesn’t even give it justice!!

Even though today was my day off it was extremely busy. I woke up at 7:26 (body clock, I didn’t even set the alarm), ate breakfast (scrambles and bagel thin and banana), met my grandma at AAA to pick up our tickets for disney!!!!! then to the gym (4miles and elliptical) then came home, baked christmas cookies for my mom (since she has about a million other cookies to make). 

We’ve made these every year since 1993!! 

Then I went to my neurosurgeon doctors appointment where they said…. I ONLY NEED TO SEE MY CONCUSSION DOCTORS NOW!!!! Since the bone is healing and we most definitely won’t be doing surgery I am DONE THERE!!! 

Then I went christmas shopping for my family. Can I just say I absolutely love shopping for other people. I used to hate it and I was the ultimate gift card giver.. now I love trying to find things I know they will like and I don’t set a price limit I just spend what I need to!

Gift buys (FAMILY IF YOU ARE READING THIS LOOK AWAY)..

Brother—> I got him running clothes!! Because he is cheap and he told me he has been running and he said *GASP* he runs in a cotton shirt… Thank goodness for me he will now experience a run without nipple bleeding.

Mother—> I got her this 

It’s the angle of love willow tree carving. And I got her Vineyard wine glasses set I don’t know how to explain those. 

Father—> I got him a Ted Williams picture <— again hard to explain, but my dad is a HUGE red sox fan (biggest I know he essentially only wears red sox clothes) and our basement is a little shrine to all things boston, hes read numerous ted williams books so I got him this  it looks super sweet. Ill snag a pic at christmas

Grandma- I got her work out clothes because she bought a membership to the gym!!!!!!!!!! Ps she’s lost 55 lbs since last May she’s a freaking taunt! I’ll write a post about her soon. 

Now I have officially exceeded my cookie limit (I try doing only 2 a day) and I exceeded it by like 2… whoops… fail Ugh I won’t feel too guilty because other than winter I don’t ever really eat cookies. 

AINT SHE A CUTIE!!!!!!! Wearin’ that Martha’s Vineyard apron! MAD MARTHAS BAYBEE!!!

http://www.sendacallfromsanta.com/?utm_source=mailhpp&utm_medium=et&utm_campaign=mailsanta

I’ve been doing them to my friends for like half an hour now and can’t stop dying of laughter LMFAOAOAOAOAOAOA

I don’t normally advertise my fundraising on tumblr, because I don’t really want to spam you guys. But my fundraising ends at the end of December and I am SO CLOSE to my goal!! 

Any donation helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://secure3.convio.net/tacs/site/Donation2?idb=1607570164&df_id=1007021&FR_ID=34650&PROXY_ID=22802024&PROXY_TYPE=20&1007021.donation=form1

i don’t know why that other link didn’t work grrrr please let me know if this one doesnt either!!

Today’s post is going to be completely random and have lots of pictures because I think sharing the thing I take pictures of really gives you an idea how I think and I don’t have much else to post other than “I ran 10 miles” and “I have been really tired the past week”. So here ya go ;) . Also, it’s like you get to explore the inner workings of my mind (think of the movie Being John Malkovich- it’s like that! but less creepy)

This right here- is Bernie Mae. Meanest and Baddest of the White family. This is an amazing documentary on Netflix called The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. It’s freaking amazing. I can’t stop watching it. 

Now this hurr is my beautiful picture I drew at Amy’s graduation dinner! (Random fact, her korean name is “meeree”.  It’s our BFF painting. Amy was really drunk so I drew in her “asian flush”, Sam is wearing a belly shirt and I have “hair full of secrets”. I mean I think this picture shows exactly why I should have gone to school for art. 

Amy and Sam’s mom talking about how much they love each other hahaha

This is taken from my apartment, there were some drunk kids wrestling naked one night and Sam and I peeped from my couch for over an hour as they got arrest and what not!! (They were asked to put their clothes back on once the cops got there, aka why they are clothed in the picture). Not pictured- the two other cop cars that rolled up. Small town = everyone wants in. 

If you can tell me what quotes this is from- I will send you a candy bar of your choice in the mail. Seriously. First one wins… message me…MEOW “NAVAJJOOOOO”

I noticed this bad boy this morning (I didn’t use it my faja did) 2% maple syrup in this “maple syrup” BAHA disgusting.  210 calories, 53g carb, 35 g of sugar. EWWWW

I spotted Santa at the gas station yesterday…

I went Christmas shopping and bought my brother this exact outfit because I think he’d look really good in it and I want him to get a new girl friend hahaha. I even sent him this picture and said “If I buy you this, will you wear this???”

oh I’m not done with pictures just yet…

If you follow me on twitter- I retweeted this. Quote couldn’t be more true. 

My draaaaaaank for my run today looked like straight up unhydrated person piss.

I went to the “Dickens Christmas Carol” with my parents this afternoon in Skaneateles. It’s like this ritzy ass town by us and these people pretend to be from that era and are acting and singing carols, it was really neat but it was absolutely freezing by the water. 

Lastly, I found this dog food. I want to buy it for all the pups in the world….

I hope you all are completely annoyed and have stopped reading by this point. Have a great week before Christmas and start of Hanukkah!