Peaks and Pits

I just noticed these at the big ol’ price choppa tuesday…. yup that would be christmas tree cookies… WUDDUP …obv didn’t purchase these but had to share…

I had a busy week between classes, working out and doing my service learning project..legit never been busier for a span of 3 days. After class today scooted home (did i just say scooted…) and it was downpouring and I knew I would not run outside in that. #pansey I know… and then I remembered its rosh hashanah and i couldnt go to my gym to run… BUT THEN I REMEMBERED WE HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE GYM IN THE BASEMENT!!!

HOW DID I FORGET WE PUT A TV INTO THE WALL BY THE TREADMILL!?!??!!? Ended up doing 6 miles in 49 minutes (and 03 seconds WUDDU) Felt really good. I’m digging the not running every day but doing better miles when I do run. Great success.

Currently watching the biggest loser… sometimes i get angry that they only allow obses people on… what about us overweight people that just wanna get fit and be trained by bob???? not fair.

Since we all know how much of a massive blog stalker I am… I came across this GREAT post and wanted to share with my fellow fitblrs and frannnndzzz

http://katywidrick.com/2011/09/27/stop-cheating-us-both-get-healthy-or-dont-but-own-it/

Ain’t it the truth- Amen, preach sister preach. But seriously. 

I don’t have too much to report to you guys, sadly. This morning I woke up and headed to the fitness center bright and early at 7am. Sat in the field house for a good 5 to 10 minutes and contemplated not running at all out of fear and anxiety. I really don’t know what it is about running in public, no one was around at all. Like AT ALL. I highly doubt there was even more than 5 people in the fitness center, and most definitely no one in the field house. So after 10 minutes of sulking and trying to come up with every excuse why I shouldn’t run I got up and turned on “Shake It Out” by Florence+ the Machines (chu know like the best song ever right meow) and then I started runnnin’ (and I was runninnnn’ *forrest gump voice*). Yeah well let’s be honest that didn’t last long. The field house track is like the tiniest thing ever and I think it’s 10 laps around is 1 mile…well at around lap 17 I was so friggen bored/anxious still that I stopped at 20 lapes aka 2 miles and went up to the arc trainer. 

I’ve pretty much mentally made up my mind that I will save my running days for when I am home and I either cross train or take a rest day on the um 2 days I’m up here… Yeah. Yeah… hahaha

Anyways, 45 minutes on the arc trainer later and I was sufficiently cardio-ed out. So not only am I anxious about running around these people but I get even worst anxiety about lifting around them. So that is out of the question. Sorry, it’s the trufff (truth). 

Not that I’m going to start rambling or anything, but I really think my anxiety with running and lifting is stemming from the fact I am extremely insecure about um everything right now. 

• running
• weight
• my looks
• weight lifting
• personal life

I’m strugglin’ . I mean shouldn’t it be enough that I recognize these problems that I can try and fix them? well nope I don’t know. 

Running wise- I know I’m insecure because I am slower and I am heavier. When I was this weight (and higher) I used to feel embarrassed with how I ran, I felt frumpy and goofy and awkward. Story of my life. It’s back again, confidence is def not hurr. 

Weight- I look down when I walk and I see my thigh giggle, I look in the mirror and I see my hips are wider than wide again. Okay criticizing doesn’t help but it makes me think that when I go to class, that’s what other people see too. Thighs, butt and hips. 

My looks- I am having a major problem with mountains forming on my face this week. Thank you mother nature. 

Well for my personal life, before I get too personal… some day I’ll dish out my drama with my romantic life which leads to more self esteem/ insecurities issues…but not right now

Now how fuggin cute is my dog??!!? Sup padre in the back (pic from this past weekend)

I’m trying to get better with my attitude. I really am. Pinky promise. 

But it’s hard. It really is. When I wake up and the head aches are still there…when I go running and I’m a minute slower per mile than I was before…when I put on a shirt that used to look great and it hugs me tight. 

But I need to take a step back and look at life as a “from here on out”. Shit happens. Skullz get broken… Weight comes back… Metabolism gets screwed up from doing dumb shit. It happens. But I’m only 21 years old. I have a lot of time to achieve the things I want and I am in no rush to find a quick fix. I want a PERMANENT FIX. And I’ll get there…with patiences and hard work. 

This week I will: 

• Not criticize my thighs, the weight will come off where it needs to
• Have faith in the calorie in vs calorie out, it will work just give it time
• Run 10 miles Saturday no matter how long it takes

(sorry whoever I took this picture from…I left it on my desktop a while ago) 

TRUE LIFE I LOVE PARKS AND REC

^^ Possibly the nicest message’s i’ve ever received— THANK YOU <3

1st off this is my new shirt that I got for 14 dollars WUDDDUPPP… the left is dry… pre work out… the right is post… I am a sweaty beast it is not cute, but I embrace it!

My run was GREAT today. 6 miles in 48 minutes! I was running 8 min miles the whole time and it felt wondeeeeeerful! Then 15 min nike training abs which still make me hate life and drip sweat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qld7WvHa5kc&ob=av2e) Oops sorry that’s dirty… 

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Also today while I was running I remembered something… TOMORROW IS 4 MONTHS SINCE THE ACCIDENT, thats’s  4 months with a head ache EVERY FRIGGEN DAY!!! WOAH! 

…however one good thing out of this… I got exempt from gym credits at my college…sweet hahaha

I was just out to dinner with my brother and he told me with great pride- that he tries to run every day now!!!!! 

This got me thinking about how I can’t just stop my blog because some haters make me feel bad or because I am having a huge blip- I can’t give up, I’ve gotta keep truckin’ and if anything this will be even better to work through it all with all my favorite people’s help!! SOOOO

Dis bitch is stayin’ hur

I’m debating deleting my tumblr. For a couple reasons… 

1) a lot of people (real life people) now read this (hi guys!) and I’m kind of going through a  lot right now…a lot of stuff I don’t want to share with them (sorry!!!). 

2) I’m going through some major struggles, and as positive as everyone is!! I do get a fair amount of anonymous hate message or even some non anon’s with very ummm strong opinions towards me… 

3) I feel like I blog about the same thing which is getting old 

4) I have been seeing my blog as another thing in my life that isn’t where it used to be. Last year at this time my weight was much lower and I had a lot more positives in my life. Right now, I’m going through um a lot.

5) when I blog about my actual life and not just running/weight stuff I feel like people don’t like that- which is weird because I’m not asking anyone to read or stick around…if  you don’t like it you don’t..please don’t message me to tell me how to focus my blog…

Sooo I’m thinking about it… I’ll def keep http://alltwentysixpointtwo.blogspot.com/ for the training aspect while fundraising. But who knows with this yet….

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That being said this makes me laugh and friends is still my all time favorite show forever and always <3.

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Know how my arms have been falling asleep and what not? Well my brain dr ordered blood work so I had that done this AM….my scans coming up soon too so we’ll see whats going on with my body/brain/skull. Also, meeting with that nutritionist tomorrow. Word. 

Let me start this post by saying I HAVE NO IDEA WHY ALL THESE PICTURES ARE SO MASSIVE BUT I”M NOT TECHY ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM SMALLER. Phew- so forgive me.

As for the last post, I have given up on dumb ass ish and I called a nutritionist/dietian and I’m meeting her Sunday to discuss. 

JIM thinks I am a sell out for buying a dailymile Tshirt but I think I’m BAD ASS. hell it’s sucha  comfy shirt I’m going to buy a plain one for my marathon in jan!!

 

Went to the movies last night with a ginger and saw The DEBT IT WAS SO GOOD OMG go watch it now… BUT I WAS SUPER STOKED TO SEE THIS UP!!

annnnnd dinner tonight came from this gem of a place…

Nom moes nom. 

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Updates on life and athletic-like activities…

Ran 6 miles, made a running friend on the treadmil and we are both running the empire half …she invited me to come run with her running group on sunday…! 

Today… slacked completely… worked 8-5 got to the gym in time to only fo 40 min elliptical because it closes at 6… annnnd it was pouring out and today was not a running day. so fail on that aspect. whatever whatever

Thank you for all your responses on the last post btw!!

What do you get when you add exercising and following WW to a tee? Well that should equal WEIGHT LOSS shouldn’t it??

What about eating healthy and a healthy balance of exercising- again that should be weight loss.

2 weeks ago my mom and I decided to do just that- follow weight watchers do a tee and for me to exercise in a healthy balance- not run x miles then elliptical to make it an even more of a calorie burn. I’m trying to live “normal” so then I won’t always have to exercise too much or whateverrr anyways… I should lose weight on weight watchers just by eating that way- not even exercise included. 

So why is it that I gained 2. 2 lbs so far?!

Yeah. What the fuck. Pardon my french but you know what- if I was boozing or eating like shit I could pin point it on that and say “oh you know you’ve had some slip ups…” B BUT NO. I haven’t so are you fucking kidding me that I am almost 40 lbs heavier now that I was a year ago. 

Are you fucking kidding me when I say I am now at only 30lbs LOST on weight watchers. Yah you’re fucking kidding me. I honestly don’t get it. Nope- Not at all. And it’s not like I know how to fucking fix it. 

So please- any- suggestions PLEASE because this is down right ridiculous. 

Help me :( I can’t explain how frustrating things is.

** If I start calorie counting here’s my question, how many more calories do I eat to make up for exercise??

Just by “Liking” my friend JIM WILKES on facebook. 

Jim is a triathlete who has an amazing story. One of his sponsors has offered to help my fundraising efforts!! For every “like” on Jim’s facebook fan page he receives in the next two weeks his sponse will make a donation towards my fundraising efforts to American Cancer Society!!

SO PLEASE!! Go to his page and hit like!!! And tell everyone you know to do so as well!! EASIEST WAY TO HELP ME!!!

And seriously- check out his story. His bio’ on his fan page tells his story…

“After years of being told “you should do that”, “you can’t do that”, and “that not possible, due to a brain injury and other wounds I received during a tour in Iraq, I have set out to complete my own mission: complete every major distance in regards to endurance triathlons and running, while amassing 500 miles in a completive environment . 

This may be an easy feat for the average athlete; however when you add a seven year ongoing headache, sporadic loss of sight, intermittent inability to use your left arm, or even function for extended periods of time (among other issues); this concept becomes anything other than average. 

So please feel free to click like and follow my progress. In addition please check out my website at www.jimwilkes.me to find out about how you can help support some great charitable organizations, read more about me. “ 

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/caitlintitus <— my donation page

 

First and foremost….

My triathlon friend Jim Wilkes has encouraged one of his sponsors to help my fundraising efforts; however I need your help. During the next two weeks for every like on Jim’s Fan Page, his sponsor will make a donation in my efforts to raise money for the American Cancer Society. Go to his page hit like and tell everyone you know to do it as well!!!!!!!!

ps. Jim is insanely inspirational so it’s worth your time to check out his story!!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jim-Wilkes/101175126630575 <— Jim’s Page

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/caitlintitus <— my donation page

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At church on Sunday there was a line from Matthew 20 the parable of the workers in the vineyard, that really stuck with me. It is about these workers who all get paid the same, the ones who worked all day and even the ones who only worked 1 hour at the end of the day. 

What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? 
Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? 
Are you envious because I am generous?’
Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Matthew 20.14-16

At first when I heard this I too thought, “well that isn’t fair”. But why isn’t it fair? For one to distribute such things to others is ones own right. Envy and jealousy are terrible things and it is definitely I am trying to get better at.

For example, I envy runners who are faster than me, despite how much harder they have worked for it, I am jealous of women who appear to be “naturally thin”, when really they have healthy habits and work hard for their body. From the outside anyone can assume anything. I may walk by an overweight man in the store and think “Wow he’s big, he should drop some lbs”, but in reality that man could already be down 100+ pounds. Someone may see me wandering around the parking lot in search of my car and think “oh she’s so dumb” but in reality I honestly can’t remember where it is… Strangers don’t know your past, and they certainly don’t know your future. So don’t sit around and envy the “naturally thin” or the “boston qualifier” because in reality they have most likely worked for where there are today, no one is naturally gifted we are all given the same thing, and that is to try and not be afraid to fail.

 

As for training today, 

I cross trained on the Arc Trainer for an hour and then did Nike Training Club ab’s…dayum they are killer but I’m already feeling better with them and the first couple times… meaning I don’t feel like I’m going to puke and die now….

ps. Ben from Do Life, posted this once, sooo go do life..or something!!

Best family picture we’ve taken in a while!! 

Today I’m taking a much needed rest day… but I still wore my flats to class…

Sorry, I’m not sorry…

Nomed on a freshly picked apple and made far too much noise eating it… apples and carrots are not quiet foods.

Ps. please note my family’s fingers gestures in the pic…

I have a “good” face on for this run because im trying to look on the bright side. I woke up this morning with plans of this run at 530 before work. But (if uve read my blog) i’ve been having this weird thing where my arm falls asleep and goes numb and my ribs get tingley, at first i thought i pinched a nerve but this morning my arm was completely useless and i really didnt know what do to. I just said fudge it and went back to sleep and called my dr when i got up to go to work. 

Anyways, they aren’t worried and don’t think it has anything to do with my brain so that cleared my nerves and i went and did this run after work at around 630. It was so nice out and it was at sunset on the lake so it was really pretty. 

View on the run. 

this was a slow run i’ll admit that. not only was it my first run out side since ummm mid june, but it was my 2nd “long” run post injury. mentally it felt really good except for the back that i’m almost an entire minute slower and about 20lbs heavier. but it is what it is and i have to progress from here so that’s that. 

This morning I went up to the beach to watch all the amazing iron men and women race!! It gave me chills and just re-inspires me to want to do great things!

This lil’ gem happened while I was watching… this is my ridiculously blonde friend… i love her to death but really she doesn’t think often

LMAO kills me… in her defense she isn’t really into any of those things really

AHHH here’s my friend cara finishing!! It was such a nice day out too!

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I’m annoyed as helllll right meow… because I took this quiz for my bio ethics class and i got an 80, and we are allowed to take it a 2nd time to try and do better. i totally thought i knew what 2 i got wrong… welp… i ended up getting a 60… FUDDDGE which means the 2 i thought were wrong were right and then i still got 2 others wrong.. f m l. im annoyed but… c’est la vie i suppose…

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This is becoming my motto. Because it seems so true….

1) At the gym this morning Mrs. Frizzle’s Magic School Bus was on TV and I didn’t change it and totally watched a couple episodes… 

2) I think Parks and Rec is probably one of the funniest TV show’s I’ve ever seen 

3) I think I pinched a nerve in my arm because for the past 3 days it has felt asleep…weird

4) I should be doing homework but instead I’m finding more blogs to follow…. 

5) 

Yayy!!

6)

WOOO!!!!!

7)

I sweat too much

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Noms:

Breakfast: 

2eggs, 2 egg whites + bagel thin, banana

snack:

apple

Lunch:

English muffin, greek yogurt +blueberries and kashi go lean crunch on top 

…

I need to shower. The end.

The National Cancer Institute estimates that approximately 11.7 million Americans with a history of cancer were alive in January 2007. Some of these individuals were cancer­free, while others still had evidence of cancer and may have been undergoing treatment. By fundraising for the American Cancer Society, I am helping raise awareness of cancer so that all of our families can enjoy a cancer-free future. Every bit helps, so thank you in advance for any support you can provide.


Dedicate your donation to a friend, family member or someone you know that has beat cancer, or has been a victim of it. Please let me know their initials and I will add them to my race shirt and run in honor of them.
http://main.acsevents.org/ goto/caitlintitus


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The past couple days my training has been pretty light still. I ran a solid 5 mileyesterday with no increased head aches afterwards which was DA BOMB. 


Last night I thought that I wasn’t going to have time to work out today after work, so I decided that I was going to wake up at 6am and go for a morning bike ride. 6am comes fast when you go to bed after midnight…but I still got up and did mychilly ride. And then luckily I was able to run after work! A quick 5k to keep the legs loose. 

This past week was really hard for me with the whole “you can never play contact sports again” thing. My whole life was sports. Since kindergarten I had played soccer and from 7th grade on every season I was playing soccer, basketball and softball. The fact that I am never allowed to play those- even recreational drives me nuts. It doesn’t help when all the girls on my (old) soccer team keep updating their status or posting pics of their games and what not. Le sigh. Here’s an old pic to keep the nostalgia going…

But then I remember that over the past 2 years I have fallen in love <— corny but true, with running. I am addicted to it and it truly frees me and is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Nothing is better than getting lost in your own thoughts on a run. So despite the set back and the whole sports getting taken away from me, I need to remember that I am now just entering a new chapter of my life…with many new exciting endurance events. 
Some half marathons, TOUGH MUDDER, Disney marathon and eventually (please oh please oh please) Boston and some tri’s!! I have many exciting things awaiting me and I am so happy to get going on it!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!
____Weekend Excitement:

• Tennis
• Fall Fest
• Long RUN SUNDAY
• Sunday is the Syracuse Ironman!! <— Being a #1 fan! 

I woke up today wicked early, like 6am early… I just layed in bed til 645 because that’s when the gym opened. So I got up, had a nomster sandwich (cinnamon raisin bagel thin 3pts, and peanut butter 2pts and a banana) then off to the arc trainer! Did a solid hour and then went home for breakfast 2… greek yogurt (3pts). 

Showered and hit the lib up

I don’t think my bun was socially acceptable today…

Got to the lib and pounded out some major reading and assignments…and then did some massive blog stalkage. 

 

 I bought the cheapest plates at the store today…they happened to be animal plates muahaha 

Lunch: weight watcher bread (2pts) turkey 3oz (2pts) hummus (1pt), spinach, pickle with grapes and carrots NOM

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Today during my mass internet binge I was stalking Fitness Magazine’s facebook page and came across the 2011 half marathon pictures and it inspires me to want to go run…even though I am not running today.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150239912747442.359924.13419577441&type=1

Seriously go look how happy all these women look!! They make me want to run outside ugh. Which btw I think I’ll be able to soon, I might just freakin do it tomorrow even though I’m not “allowed” yet. 

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On a serious note, this morning at the gym I was faced with a really disgusting reality shock. 

I saw a girl ( a thin girl, I wouldn’t say she looked unhealthly skinny, but she was definitely a smaller girl), got off the treadmill at the gym and she was wearing a shorter shirt. I noticed on her stomach she had cut the words “FAT”  on her lower stomach. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get off the arc trainer run over to her and hug her. I didn’t, and it kinda bugs me that I didn’t, but it really isn’t my place. I have never seen this girl before and for all I know that is an old scar… The thing that disgusts me about this is the fact that I’ve seen it on tumblr, I’ve seen it elsewhere on the internet, but I had never seen something like that in real life. It just saddens me because I want this girl to get help if it is still a problem :/ anyways, enough of that. 

GPOYWC - gratuitous picture of yourself wearing clogs

Did you know that studies estimate that 1.368 million Americans will be diagnosed with cancer this year? By fundraising for the ACS, I am heping raise awareness of cancer so that all of our families can enjoy a cancer-free future! 

I’ve set my goal, so now I’m asking you to help me reach it by making a donation. You can make a secure donation online by simply clicking on the link below. Whatever you can give will help.I truly appreciate your support!

http://main.acsevents.org/goto /caitlintitus

http://caitforcancer.blogspot.com/

Classes are great, but my schedule isn’t the best for my hungry runner self. 

Typical Tuesday/Thursday:

6:46am wake up call

Banana

7am-830am gym

830-9am breakfast

9-11am library doing work (catching up on blogs in the free time)

11-1215 class #1

1230-145 class #2

2-340 class #3

come home and die of hunger and the killer head ache I just put myself through.

Sooooo it’s really hard to eat… Like today I was NOT hungry after working out because I ate  a vita top w pb before working out, so i just had an apple…then at 11 I was starrrving so I ate a protein bar, fail still starrrving at 1215 when I got out, snagged a greek yogurt, STILL HUNGRY AFTER EATING IT had to wait til 340… boo

Anyways- played tennis today with my friend emily and we challenged some engineer nerds ;) jk to play us in doubles it was really great until the wind was so awful we had to stop. 

Back at the lib blogstalkin and what not…

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Fitness business… 

tried to run, blood blister is awful…

I’m really sorry but I wanted to post this hahaha. It is really big and filled with blood…obv…but do I pop it?? I dont want to get infected… sorry my feet are butt ugly…cursed with extra feet bones and a ridiculously flat arch 

Gym: 

1.6miles

40min arc trainer

15 minute nike training club “butt burner”