Bob has been taking over my life and I love it… and him…
LOLOLOLOLOLOLLL
Annnnd so factual
Okay, I was stalking Kendall and Kylie’s twitter accounts the other day and legit thought this exact.same.thing.
Peaks of the weekend: Relatively good work out and eats
Pits: Less running than I would have liked, but clearly I did nothing to change that.
I created a “what I want” board, again with my visualness.
I got my hair cut today (this is before) but it looks pretty much the same…..
Look how long it is!! it just looks healthier now…
hey you can kind of see the after hair!! look at my little studmuffin!! so presh!
splurged a little and bought a little graduation gift!!
Peaks:” ^^ all the above
Pits: I’m really tired booooooooo good thing I’m going to bed soon!
Here’s my new view on life…
Plain and simple :)
Now onto Wednesday things…
(I’m recycling pictures of myself because I don’t like my current look…oops)
Peaks:
-Ran, Elliptical, Kettleball schtuff
- got my eyebrows done and I feel like a new woman
- it was a very relaxing day
- i sold my garmin watch, and bought a different smaller/ lighter watch
Pit:
- i ate meh today
Convo earlier with the brohamin
I have decided that I can’t keep stressing myself out. I know it sounds so dumb but eating vegan has actually been kind of a stress.
1) it’s costing more (because it’s on top of the normal groceries for the house)
2) example, saturday we went out to dinner for my moms birthday and there was 1 item i could order on the menu
3) with all my traveling and what not it’s much harder to find things
4) these are just excuses but right now I dont want to struggle. 4ish months was a cool try but i’m going back to my norm
other news…. no word back about my ct scan from thursday, i still have a wicked headache (worst than usual). I’ve scaled back my miles and I’m trying to do more work out videos until I hear back.
I was looking back at my photobooth and was reminiscing with my smaller self… it made me realize that I actually seemed happier when I
1) blogged and didn’t care
2) ran and didn’t care
3) ate and cared
4) found the joy in the little things and didn’t harp on the crap happening
Odd … I am trying to go back to my old ways of focusing on tracking and no excuses working out.
Maybe if I just pretend like things are like they used to be they will be?? EHHH???? Maybe?
Peak: Back note: I’m a nerd and I love amish documentaries… Now fast forward to present, in class today my professor put on an amish documentary (to examine adolescent culture) and I had already seen the documentary before…. I am a nerd.
Pit: I ran (2 miles) and arc trainer for 30 mins. The pit here is that I want to run more.
Alright so I’ve got some serious peaks and serious pits…
Let’s start with the bad so then when I finish this post I’m walking away with a good thought rather than bad.
Pit: I called my neuro dr. today because my head has been hurting for the past week (way more than usual and it’s been pretty bad, not dull). Welp, they want to do a CT scan ASAP so tomorrow I am getting another CT scan… (I think this makes CT number 4?…maybe 5…)
PEAKS!:
I signed up for Bob’s workout “classes” and I love it so far. I bought a kettleball too to get the full effect.
I also purchased this work out tank…
It’s wicked comfy and I think it’s the first tank that I’ve liked the way it fit.
BEST PEAK OF ALL!!!!
It came in!!!!!! <3333 this documentary. It’s so messed up but SO FASCINATING!!!
Side bar-
I went to my therapist again today. I really like going to her, it’s great to have a person with no judgment and no biasness. It’s the first time I feel like I can talk about my problems without feeling guilty or feeling like I’m looking for pity. For those of you who suggested this awhile ago to me.. I regret not going early. I highly suggest everyone do this (especially if your insurance covers it).
Let’s see it’s been a while since I spammed the shiznits out of you all :)
I tweeted a picture of the softball scares on my leg… I’ve been missing sports a lot lately… But to turn this into a peak— I like the way my leg looks hahah
My new Tom’s came in the mail!
My therapist has suggested that so many things have changed and happened to me in the last year that I need something that is a constant that I can control and get excited about. I have decided that I want to fully go into this vegan business by really creating new meals and not just eating quick frozen vegan things. I wanna go all natural and what not. Also, she suggested I start trying to push myself (within reason) with my running just so I can get that thrill back.
I purchased this bad boy at BJ’s and I think I want to live in it.
What’s a blog post from me without a cute picture of my pupper? I found this thannng in the kitchen the other morning.
Here’s a pit and a peak? I was cleaning my room and found a box of my old awards… We recently painted in my room so we had taken them down… It made me a little sad looking back at all my awards and knowing ya know. Yeah so def a pit (of sadness) but it was exciting to see my accomplishments.
Most exciting peak: I ran more than 20 miles this week
Pit: I’ve had the worst headaches I’ve had in a while the past 3 days. I’m just praying it isn’t related to upping my miles.
The more I run, the more my face looks like a 16 year old boy. BOO
Peak: I really didn’t want to run today (because of pit) but I told myself that I needed to push through it. I did and 4 miles later and lunges/squats were completed. I’m happy with this. I also ate perfecto today.
Pit: My head has hurt since the middle of the night last night the worst it has in a couple weeks. I still get daily head aches, at max 3 a day, but since about 3 am last night I have had a killer head ache :( 9 months of a head ache every day is enough to make someone go insane. Def the pit of the day.
^^LOLOLOLOL
I can’t come up with original titles (can that be my pit today??)
Peak (s):
Peak 1 waited until 9 o clock at night to run… almost didn’t run. Only reason I got on the treadmill was because I said to myself “You can stop at 2 miles”. I started watching the biggest loser (season 1 they are all on netflix #winning) and at 2.5 miles I realized I had reached passed 2 and decided to run 4 miles (had to stop because I need to finish a paper before bed).
Peak 2 did a lot of work on the bakery today. Created some Mother’s Day special menus/flyers, got working on the llc, ordered some products, tried perfecting the half moon cookies (which aren’t eaten by us! we find reason to bake for people to start perfecting things and getting our name out there)
PIT: waited until 9pm to run………………………………………….
—-
Had to register for summer and fall classes today (for grad school) and I got wicked stressed out knowing I won’t be graduating until forever because I’m just doing part time to start….
Instead of writing down every little thing, I’m going to do this.
Peaks and Pits of the day.
Peak: Even though I didn’t want to run because I was so tired, I ran. Also, ate really well only one “bad” thing which was some bites of my mom’s birthday cake (<— it’s birthday cake I mean come on).
Pit: I wanted to run more and do abs and what not.
Hilariousness of the day:
Alright, I suck. Let’s be real right??? I don’t suck in a food/ exercise (only a little but I’m human and trying not to obsess). But I am so sorry for being so MIA.
This last weekend for my birthday (woohoo) I went to Boston to visit my old roommates slash best friends. They tried to convince me to move there and if things don’t pan out how I’d like this spring… I just might…
We walked by the “marathon store” and they wanted me to go in and I seriously told them I thought I would cry if I did (of sadness) so we didn’t… however, I did get all warm and tingley when I saw this so I took a picture to remind myself of how bad I want to get there some day.
Gosh I love Boston. It’s so clean.
Anyway, majority of my time has been taken up with working, class and driving. Seriously it’s ridiculous. I don’t like to talk too much about my job because for one reason, I know my boss (who is my personal friend before this internship) reads my blog from time to time… and honestly I don’t want her to find my obsession with work and everything weird :) haha because I seriously would be obsessing over it with you guys… seriously.
So- that’s been really good. I really love the company and the people I work with. I love getting more responsibility and I really do feel like a part of the company not just an intern. Hopefully, knock on wood, if all goes as planned I could work there come graduation. I know I have given up a lot this year by working here part time during the week and traveling 3 hours multple times a week to attend classes but really it has been worth it. No matter what this job experience has already placed me ahead of others in my graduating class and I’ve defintiely bettered myself for this upcoming year.
Other exciting news- I always have a back up plan… and well I got into grad school for health education a couple weeks ago. It’s time to start making my schedule and I’m a little hesistant for that. If I don’t get a job then I will go full time to class, if I do I don’t know how part time I want to go… I can’t decide if it’s worth the major stress to take a half time load or to just take one or two classes… That I won’t decide yet hahah
Weight news- No difference, which I guess is good that I am not gaining. I have made a serious climb in my views of my body and in how I should be eating. The more I read about veganism and other health books, I am coming to realize that I can’t be obsessing over all the little things. I need to control what I can control, and that is eating whole foods and reducing my sugar intake and process foods. If I do and eat the right things, there is no reason to be holding onto this weight. Now, the hardest thing about that is to actually do it. I’m trying to make the best choices and cut the crap foods out when I can and make every day better. It sounds like a load of bull crap but I’ve really started writing down everything I eat, how I feel and WHY I ate it. It’s hard to control when i have work dinners or lunches but I’m still making the best choice I can for the place I am.
Exercise/ Fitness news- I’ve still been running, I keep wanting to up to past 20 miles a week but last week that goal became impossible when I went to boston and when I worked crazy hours drove ridiculous amounts and it was my birthday. I honestly have found a new respect for all your full time workers and marathon runners. You are awesome. I am getting back to that.
Personal health news- I have come to realize that I am still stuck in a rut with my mind body and soul (that sounds lame, it’s true though…). I get really pumped up about stuff, then I get really sad and depressed about things.
When I was really at my largest and I was so unhappy with school and my body and self and everything, i used to have dreams where I would be shot or chased or almost die. I would wake up in night sweets. Well guess what… these have come back. i think it’s from my uncertainity with everything and my unhappiness with my body.
I also think I am somewhat depressed from everything that has happened in the past year.
This being said- I have contacted a counselor and am going to start seeing someone starting Tuesday. I think this is a really positive move for me if I want to start feeling better. I think that this is something that I had my weight loss cover up before. I clearly was still unhappy even as I had lost most of the weight (probably why I still saw myself fat and hating my body and self). I need to solve this problem before I can start completley healing.
So after I wrote you a novel… this is why I should blog more.. then i don’t need to write these ridiculously long posts that no one will even read (good thing it’s for me ;) and whoever cares).
I’ll leave you with this.. because pictures are fun and there are too many words.
Arrested Development is one of the best shows ever. Fact.
